dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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