remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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