My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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