Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
