He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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