I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
