If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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