Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
