just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
