I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
