Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
