The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
