But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
