party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
