Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
