I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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