You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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