he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
