dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
