Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
