Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
