so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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