so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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