Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
