Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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