Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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