Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
