I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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