Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
