And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
