I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
