I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
