No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
