i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
