My brain says no but my pants say off.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
