youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
