READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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