she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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