You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
