And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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