I must be too annoying 4 u.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
