I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
