you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
