friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
