So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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