I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
