i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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