There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
