I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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