He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
