She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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