I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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