God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
