I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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